For the more nostalgic and indeed romantic among you, there is of course James Cameron’s painstakingly re-mastered epic Titantic, which gets its 3D release on April 6; as well as Henry Cavill upping the action quota and learning a thing or two about his family, when his parents are mysteriously kidnapped whilst on a boating holiday, in The Cold Light of Day. Also out on limited release on April 6, is the Norwegian smash-hit thriller Headhunters, about a corporate headhunter who also had a sideline in burglarising houses, but who’s latest hit on the house of a mercenary doesn’t go down too well. In addition to being Norway’s highest-grossing film of all time, it has already been picked up for a US remake, so it must be good!

The warm-up to the summer blockbuster season kicks off with Battleship on April 11. Starring John Carter’s Taylor Kitch, alongside Liam Neeson and Rihanna (in her feature-film debut), the film is – as you might have guessed – based on the classic board game, and comes from the same company that bought Transformers to the big screen.

Others to look out for in April include the Joss Whedon-produced horror The Cabin in the Woods; Amanda Seyfried going on the hunt for a kidnapper in Gone; Nazi’s living on the moon in futuristic thriller Iron Sky; Guy Pearce does a Die Hard-style rescue mission on a space-based prison in Lockout; and then the month is capped with the film-for-the-ages that is Marvel Avengers Assemble. If you have no clue what this is, just ask your nearest 12 to 15-year-old neighbour or any purveyor of comic books!

If April seems like a little too much whizz-bang to keep up with, then the eclectic mix offered in May might just help. Why not start by tasting another slice of the real pie, with American Pie: Reunion on May 2. The new comedy brings all the original cast back to East Great Falls for their high school reunion. Also on May 2, Disney continues to let the 3D re-release bandwagon role on with Beauty and the Beast; Jason Statham continues to do what he does best (erm… kicking and punching people, basically!) in action-thriller Safe; and Elizabeth Olsen continues her meteoric rise to fame with single-take horror Silent House.

May 11 plays host to Dark Shadow, the latest star-studded collaboration between Johnny Depp and Tim Burton. It tells the story of Barnabas Collins, a rich playboy in 1752 who errant love-life soon finds him cursed as a vampire and buried alive for two centuries. When accidently unearthed two centuries later, he must come to terms with 20th century life, and the family who now live in his mansion.

Also in May, look out for 3D horror sequel Piranha 3DD; Indonesian action-fest The Raid; and  the men in black return in Men in Black 3.

Mirror, Mirror
 

Titanic (3D)
 

The Cold Light of Day
 

Headhunters
 

Battleship
 

The Cabin in the Woods
 

Gone
 

Iron Sky
 

Lockout
 

Marvel Avengers Assemble
 

American Pie: Reunion
 

Beauty and the Beast (3D)
 

Safe
 

Silent House
 

Dark Shadows
 

Piranha 3DD
 

The Raid (also known as The Raid: Redemption in the United States)

Men in Black 3
 

Comedy

Plot: An unrelated group of British retirees, each from very different backgrounds and all with very varied motives, decide to take a trip to India and end up staying together at The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. Run by the ambitious but equally hapless Sonny, the hotel is not quite the elderly paradise that these British patrons had been expecting; and neither was the profound effect that it would have on each of their lives…

Review: Those of you who have been following filmmaking trends with any degree of regularity over the last few years, may have become aware of the large number of films where the lead characters are barely out of their teens; or the average age of an ensemble cast seldom sees the heavier side of 30. So instead of sitting astride the soapbox, bemoaning Hollywood bean-counters for their slow-burn massacre of the film industry; let us instead rejoice in the fact that some of Britain’s best (and indeed, most mature) thespians have been collectively let loose once again, to show the young whippersnappers how it’s done.

Of course, the danger with something like The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, is that in combining two facets of life that are rife with stereotype – which in this case include old age and visiting a foreign country – it also makes them prime targets for cheap laughs. For about the first 15 or 20 minutes of this film, one of the characters does begin to go down that route, and it’s enough to make you think that whole film will be as shallow as a baby training pool. Thankfully though, it is not nearly as bad as all that. In fact, while the actors wear a lot of the self-deprecating humour on their sleeves, the film also has plenty of warmth and heart to go alongside it too.

That said, nothing about this film is too heavy-handed. All the performances are lovely, and nobody here is trying to outdo anyone else or become the scene-stealer. If anything, this film probably suffers from being a little too laid back for some tastes. Then again, why should the young whippersnappers have all the fun?

Rating:

Action-Thriller

Plot: Chris Farraday (Mark Wahlberg) is a former pro-smuggler who is now married to Kate (Kate Beckinsale). Life is going well with their two boys and Chris’ home security business. But when his brother-in-law Andy (Caleb Landry Jones) suffers a botched attempt at smuggling some drugs for ring-leader Tim Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi), Chris must do one last job to pay back Andy’s debt and save the lives of his whole family.

Review: Just in case you didn’t know this already: Contraband is a US remake of Reykjavík-Rotterdam, an Icelandic action-thriller starring Baltasar Kormákur in the lead role. His character Kristofer has a lowly job as a security guard, after being fired from his previous post on a freight-liner for smuggling alcohol. However, financial troubles cause him to seek help from a friend in getting his old job back, and he tries his hand at the smuggling lark all over again…

Something else you may not already know, is that as well as garnering the title of “Iceland’s Most Expensive Movie of All Time”, it also went on to win five Edda Awards (the Icelandic Bafta’s, if you will), including Best Director and Best Screenplay. If that weren’t enough, it was also put forward as a contender for Best Foreign Language Film at the 2010 Oscars. It didn’t reach the nomination stage, but all things considered, it was enough to pique the interest of the Hollywood big-wigs, who thought it valuable enough for a US remake. Clearly they weren’t the only ones; given that the star of the original decided to shepherd the American version to the screen himself.

The result is, how should we say… mixed. The basic premise itself, of course, remains the same, but it’s the execution of the story that suffers terribly in places. If this were a pie and the pastry represents the premise, what Kormákur has done is filled it with vegetables and Quorn, rather than real meat that you can sink your teeth into. Therefore what you end up with is something that doesn’t satisfy in the way that you feel it should.

With the possible exception of Walhberg – who does a fairly decent line in nice-guy-turned-back-slidden-tough-nut – the main leads in this film, who at least from a marketing perspective have been made to look like the biggest selling point, are instead the weakest link of the whole affair. You have Kate Beckinsale as the wife, who while apparently as tough as nails, feels more like she regresses further and further into wooden damsel territory as the film progresses; while Ben Foster – a man of usually considerable talent – seems to be doing a watered-down amalgamation of previous characters that comes off as nothing more than uninspired. If there’s one person here to feel sorry for though, it’s Giovanni Ribisi as the supposed head of the smuggling operation. Not only is he one of the most unconvincing and least threatening villains of all time, but one has to wonder if he was accidently given a completely different script just before the cameras started to roll! His performance as it is, just doesn’t mesh with anything or anyone else in the whole film, and his voice sounds as though he’d be better served with a pot of vapour rub and told to lie down for a few hours!

All in all, the chunks of plot that are concerned with the ‘family’ side of things, feel more like they get in the way rather than aiding the story.

However, the areas where the film does deliver, are all those that don’t take place on dry ground. Doubtless from his previous experience, it is clear that Kormákur knows a thing or two about how life on a shipping freighter revolves, having collected a rag-tag of largely delightful supporting players who portray the sort of chemistry and camaraderie that immediately makes you want to work on a cargo ship for the rest of your days. Some of these characters are only on screen for two or three minutes, but during that time, you will likely invest far more in any of them, than all of the lead characters put together. Then add to this mix the always-brilliant J.K. Simmons, whose Captain Camp has a steely, no-nonsense approach to the way his vessel operates, and you’ve got the perfect recipe for some often tense exchanges.

Plaudits should also go to the only real action sequence in the film, which takes place in Panama. It’s not that there’s anything with regard to the action itself that we haven’t seen before, but rather that it gleefully lacks the air of predictability which has become inherent in these kinds of things.

Contraband does just about have enough to offer if you’re looking to be entertained at your local multiplex on a Friday night; but it may not be quite in the way that you expect.

Rating:

When it comes to the film industry’s award season, how much of it is about genuine, bona fide talent and quality; and how much of it is to do with proverbial back-slapping between the Hollywood elite, the critics and the bean-counters? In a nutshell: are these ceremonies simply a popularity contest?

There was a time when I would have answered that question with a very cynical and straight-forward “yes”, and that be that. These days though, I don’t really know what to think any more.

I have several friends at my church who are similar to me in their love for all things film, and I noticed on Facebook, not long after this year’s BAFTA ceremony had finished, that one of them was rather aggrieved that Gary Oldman had not won the award for Best Actor, for his portrayal of George Smiley in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. Instead, the award went to The Artist, and more specifically to Jean Dujardin, for his turn as a once-famous silent actor named George Valentin. That, and six other awards which included Best Film, Best Director and Best Original Screenplay. “Gary Oldman was ROBBED” was how the comment that I read. My friend also said that there is no point in watching The Oscars later this month, because clearly The Artist is  going to sweep the floor with everything else.

He wasn’t very happy!

I tried to reassure him that Gary Oldman was too good to be overlooked forever, but wasn’t having any of it. He seems convinced that at this rate, if they don’t hurry up, his award will end up being a posthumous one!

“Why has Gary Oldman STILL not won an Oscar yet?” sounds like a brilliant title for a future blog post, but I fear that I do not have the necessary knowledge, intelligence or inclination to write such an analytical piece on Gary Oldman’s past career…

Much like Martha Marcy May Marlene,  The Artist was practically unheard of until it started doing the rounds at the worlds biggest film festivals. Suddenly, you couldn’t go anywhere on the inter-webs without praise being heaped upon it. Critics were raving about it all over the place too. “Yes, it’s a silent film, yes it’s in black and white, but it’s *brilliant* and *everyone* should see it!”. Once you start reading comments like that, you just know that the awards panels will begin to lap it up and ensure it gets put on it’s roster for the following year. But, honestly, is the praise that’s being heaped upon it really justified? Frankly, yes (in my humble opinion!). I’m not going to go into the reasons why here, but if you want an idea, check out my review. All I will say is that, in this day and age of relentless remakes and adaptations, originality is something to be embraced and treasured!

The question is though, was Jean Dujardin’s performance truthfully worth the BAFTA, or was he given it because he had been in a film that had won the hearts of millions? Was it that he just happened to land a part in a really successful film that he was pretty good in? Personally, I don’t believe that to be the case myself, but I bet there are plenty who would (my friend is clearly one of them!).

Then look at Gary Oldman…

You can’t deny it: the man is able to put his hand to anything (even notable clunkers like Lost in Space – which, incidentally, I still enjoyed!) and turn it into gold. Yet, he has been tragically overlooked on the awards front (particularly Oscars) for years. Why though, when he is clearly a master? Now, I can’t attest to his performance in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, because the story melted my brain so much that I fell asleep through half of it; but sadly, I fear that the answer lies in the question. It’s probably because he is consistently good in everything! Ergo, because he has never been crap in any part he has ever played, we (and more importantly, the awards folk) just take his performances for granted because “that’s the way Gary Oldman is”.

That said though, Meryl Streep doesn’t seem to fair too badly….

Heck, what do I know (that’s a rhetorical question, you don’t have to answer it)? That’s why I wrote it all down, in case any of you wanted to ponder the same idea; because I for one, haven’t got a clue!

Thriller

Release Dates:
February 24th, 2012 (Theatrical)
February 27th, 2012 (DVD)

——————————————————————————————

Plot: While on her way home from work, Amber (Anna Walton), a young nurse, is car-jacked by Frankie Norton (Danny Dyer). Frankie is a vicious psychopath recently escaped from prison and is looking to flee the country. He takes Amber prisoner in her own car, as they drive around London over the course of one night, while Frankie tries to piece together his next move.

——————————————————————————————

This reviewer seldom ever gets the opportunity to review a film before it’s general release, so when the opportunity came along, it was enthusiastically grabbed with both hands! All well and good you might think, until the realisation suddenly hits as to what has come through the letterbox. The preview DVD is accompanied by some PR gumpf that has none other than Danny Dyer’s name written all over it. That feeling of excitement was tragically all too brief…

Anyone who thinks that’s a little unfair should have a go at sitting through Deviation first: because it’s a mess. Credit where it’s due though; it’s not all Mr. Dyer’s fault. From the get-go, we are treated to some very questionable cinematography which, for the first 5 minutes or so, simply gives us a view of Amber (Walton), from the back, talking on her mobile phone, whilst walking along a London street. This might have been acceptable, had the camera decided to survey her clothing or the phone she was using just to give us some indication of what this character is about. But no. It’s just her, from a fixed angle, having three simultaneous conversations – one of which is from her work, who can’t decide if they need her to come back or not – thus making her walk back on herself twice. By the end of the sequence, you’ve lost all care for the character and she hasn’t even been abducted yet!

Once she is though, the whole film then plummets to depths of absurdity that you didn’t think were possible! Frankie is less of a raving psychopath and more of a confused and love-starved man-child. If his criminal activities are as well renowned as the highly contrived breaking-news-on-all-radio-stations would have you believe, why does he only restrain his victim with a single cable tie attached to the join of a headrest; and why doesn’t she then simply pull it off!? There also appears to be a severe lack of a police presence searching for this supposed mad man…

These and many other questions are likely to annoy and plague you as the running time creeps along like a clock working at half-speed. That and the performances, which are bland at best; although Anna Walton’s final scene does manage to breathe some much-needed genuine emotion. But by that point, your senses will have become too dulled to notice.

Rating:

Action

——————————————————————————————

Plot: After ducking out of a local house party, three teenagers stumble upon a hole in the ground of a nearby forest. It plays host to something unfathomable, but ends up transferring telekinetic powers onto the unsuspecting trio. Soon they find that as their powers become more potent, so to do the consequences of misusing them.

——————————————————————————————

Given the absolute barrage of superhero movies to have graced out screens in the last 15 years (both mainstream and indie alike), it would be entirely understandable for you to think you’ve seen it all and that no super-powered stone has been left unturned. Enter Chronicle: a reassuring and welcome reminder that there is still life in the old dog yet!

It has long been ingrained into our pop-culture psyches that “with great power comes great responsibility”. So then, what would happen if you were to put said powers into the hands of the decidedly irresponsible? That’s the question posed by Max (son of John) Landis and Josh Trank; the respective writing and directing team behind this fresh genre spin, which begins with a succinct setup of the first of the three main characters.

Andrew Detmer (Dane DeHaan) is a high-schooler with issues: his dad is a disgraced alcoholic and his mother is slowly dying in a bed upstairs. In an effort to distance himself from all the trouble that life is tossing his way, Andrew begins to film every aspect of his home, school and social life; much to the dislike of his cousin – and only real friend – Matt Garetty (Alex Russell). Whilst reluctantly attending a house party – on Matt’s insistence that he needs to get a life – Andrew is approached by another teenager, called Steve Montgomery, who wants to borrow his video camera to document what he and Matt have just found in a nearby forest. At this point, the three of them are suddenly bestowed with unexplained mental powers, and it is from here that the self-documenting style (in the same vein as Cloverfield) really takes off; charting the progression of this erstwhile unlikely trio, as they become friends and develop their skills.

One of Chronicle’s major strengths and what makes it instantly grab your attention, is its willingness to defy not just one, but several conventions of the genre; and doing so to such great effect! In addition to the ‘power & responsibility’ mantra that we have already mentioned, the friendship between the three leads does not come already fully formed as you may expect from a film such as this. Instead, you get to see its fractured formation as they bond purely over their new found abilities, and then it’s fragmentation as certain powers become abused. It’s these scenes of exploration that will keep you engaged the most, not least because each of the performances (by a relatively unknown cast) are raw and genuine, which means that you will want to stay with them on the journey to the end. The supporting players (which include Michael Kelly as Andrew’s dad and Ashley Hinshaw as the camera-wielding love interest of Matt’s) are also conveyed very well.

However, the POV style of the film is likely to divide some people; largely because it is at times inconsistent in its approach and can be quite jarring when there is either a change in operator, or when swapping to a security feed because there is no character available to hold a camera. The special effects also look a bit rough around the edges at times (flying sequences in particular), but perhaps one could argue that it is representative of the fact that the teenagers do not have a perfect hold on their abilities from the very beginning?

With these two elements combined (as well as a couple of plot inconsistencies), Chronicle often feels like a superhero B-movie rollercoaster that you’re not always sure you want to be on. But it’s the engaging performances which turn this into an A-star piece that is much more compelling and thoroughly more watchable than you expect. Not only that, but it definitely marks Josh Trank and Max Landis as talents to watch out for. Chronicle is not quite a Marvel, but it is pretty close.

Rating:

Comedy

More often than not, if a film trailer gets accused of being misleading, it’s normally because the snippet coaxes you into believing that the film is going to be better than it actually is. There are rare occasions though, where it doesn’t do it justice at all! Thankfully, The Sitter falls into the latter category; largely because it avoids many (though not all) of the usual pitfalls of the slacker-comedy genre.

Jonah Hill stars as Noah, a college dropout who can be found moping around at home, leeching off of the good graces of his single mother. Still, when her friend needs a last-minute babysitter so that they can have a night out, Noah reluctantly agrees to take on the responsibility. What follows, is an anarchic evening of drugs, bar mitzvahs, police and house parties. Thankfully, the three children of the piece narrowly stave off being precocious, although one of them (and his character is not alone) does skirt uncomfortably close to racial stereotyping. However, not all of the jokes are quite so cheap, and they are nicely off-set by a couple of (lightly) touching moments too. This film is far more enjoyable if you lower your expectations beforehand!

Rating:

Action

Haywire marks Steven Soderbergh’s second foray into plunking star talent from equally high-flying industries, and throwing them into the cinematic deep-end of leading characterisation (the first being The Girlfriend Experience). This time, it’s the turn of Gina Carano. A Mixed Martial Artist by trade, here she is cast as a black-ops agent seeking revenge, after being framed during her last assignment. In order to give the film a bit more clout though, Soderbergh has surrounded Carano with a plethora of Hollywood heavyweights, including Michael Fassbender, Bill Paxton, Channing Tatum and Michael Douglas.

It’s actually a crying shame that some of these supporting players are used a lot less than normal (as each is on top form), but then, it was never really about them. Instead, this is Carano’s show and by Jove does she nail it. In fact, what is pleasantly surprising about Haywire is how gritty and unpolished the fighting actually is. Instead of wires and fancy choreography, there are ‘mistakes’ being made, as well as the noted absence of heightened sound effects to punctuate the punches. With a solid lead and a fairly strong narrative, the only real problem is the soundtrack: it simply doesn’t fit.

Rating:

Drama

The Artist is an incredible, near-faultless film that should not to be missed by anyone. Set in the late 1920’s, this black-and-white, silent masterpiece sees Jean Dujardin playing George Valentin: an actor who whilst at the top of his game, is caught off guard by the sudden immergence of talkies. Add to the mix a dancer-turned-actress (played by Bérénice Bejo) who is set to take over his mantle, and you’ve got a compelling drama that sees a successful man’s world quickly unravelling as the silent roles dry up.

The story may be simple, but with such attention to period-detail, not to mention the enduring performances by the entire cast (even the cameos – by the likes of Missi Pyle and Malcolm McDowell – are something to be treasured), you will find it very hard not to be drawn in by the sheer pleasure of the whole experience. But, if all else fails, we defy you not to suffer a melting heart at the sight of, possibly, the best canine performance ever committed to screen. Valentin’s faithful companion Uggie – a 10-year-old Jack Russell Terrier – is arguably the finest ingredient of a film with barely a blemish to speak of. Pure joy.

Rating:

Action

——————————————————————————————

Plot: Two friends (Hirsch & Minghella), who are both software developers, are in Moscow to try and market their latest project: a new social media platform. When the deal goes south, they console themselves by necking a few in a local bar, where they also meet two girls (Thirlby & Taylor). Suddenly the lights go out, and stranger lights start falling from the sky. They soon realise that it is an invasion, but of what kind?

——————————————————————————————

2011 went out on such a cinematic high; what with the likes of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, that the dawn of 2012 seemed inevitably  destined to be incomparable. Alas, not true when you consider War Horse or The Iron Lady; but, ‘tis a fall that you are setting yourself up for, if you decide to make your first multiplex visit of the year for The Darkest Hour.

In fairness – and as most mothers will tell you – every cloud has a silver lining. With a running time of a little under 90 minutes, The Darkest Hour’s lining is there, albeit a remarkably faint one. Actually, that makes it The Darkest Hour-and-a-half (you’re likely to have this year) – in more ways than one.

First and foremost of the many trials of this film: the setting. Kudos to the filmmakers for trying to give it the classy, B-movie feel by setting the action in Moscow. However, the by-product of this, is that it accentuates how much of a hokey Hollywood production it really is. In a text message, one of the lead female characters mums her asks her daughter why she suddenly decides to drop everything and travel to Moscow. Get in the queue mum: not even the audience gets let in on that little secret (and we really should be)! Then there’s the closeted, bearded, old Russian man who, despite never having set eyes on the invaders before, seems to have been anticipating them for some time, by virtue of how and where he is living (a.k.a nobody would ever live like that!). In case you haven’t already gathered, character exploration is not top of the list here.

Neither, it must be said, is any form of story – at all! Characters just seem to ‘happen’ upon each other constantly from scene to scene, with no real consequence; and you have to wonder what on earth the writers are playing at when, after the initial alien attack, the lone survivors (and alas, we the audience) are subjected to a four-day time-lapse where absolutely nothing happens! It sets a very dull tone for the rest of the film, which includes some very questionable ‘fade-to-black’ editing (making you feel as though they couldn’t be bothered to finish certain scenes properly), and the special effects are nothing close to special either (the trailer having already given away anything that was good about them!). To say much more would be to essentially divulge the entire film in this review. Suffice to say, the ending is best described as the kick in the teeth that you always wanted.

To categorise the performances in this film as bad is extremely unfair. Instead, it would be far better to sympathise with the actors over the fact that there was barely anything for them to do, except behaving like ‘genre-puppets’ being guided by knotted strings. How much more of a gut-puncher this must be in 3D….

In short, boys and girls, even G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra was better – and that really is saying something!

Rating: